"...Knowing that I needed to sing, knowing that I still needed to do what I knew I was supposed to be doing.
Right now, it's just choosing to worship all the time. That's what it is for me. Because I don't always feel like it. Sometimes I don't feel like singing to God. But I know my circumstance in this season doesn't change that God is still God. It doesn't change what God's called me to be or what He's called me to do.
He's still on the throne in heaven, ya know?
And he still rules.
And he's still bigger than everything I'm facing.
I was singing, and I believed everything that I was singing. And I still don't really know why. Part of me was still broken. It wasn't like, this huge rush of how I always felt when I worshiped... Like the presence of God flattened me. It wasn't like that.
But just going, 'I know that You're here, God.'
I knew I just needed to keep singing. Even when you're saying things that you know are truth, but you might not necessarily fully understand yet."
I was talking to God this morning, and thinking about that "knowing that I still needed to do what I knew I was supposed to be doing" part.
I heard Him say "Ashlyn. Tell the story."
So then I asked Him this: "um, what story... Yours or mine?"
(This is when you and I have a mutual agreement that we all have our blonde moments, k? K thanksssss.)
And He just was quiet. Smiled, probably.
Oohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, I thought. Baha. They're the same aren't they?
And I like to think He smiled again. Yup, my story is forever intertwined with His grace and love and POWER...
So I'm making a comeback here. Writing again. Which I had decided I wasn't going to do until my life was 100% glamorously blog-worthy. I've realized that I need to get over myself, because there's people out there--at least I'm pretty sure--that don't always want to see a shimmering little life where my nails are always an unchipped You Don't Know Jacques and my new little Atlanta home looks like Pinterest knocked on my door and said "GIRL, get out da way I'm here to decorate." And where it's really easy to be 23-and-a-half because you were pretty good at college and then lived by yourself on the road for a year.
This stage is more like the junior high of adulthood. And that's okay!
Because we're constructed to lean on each other. Called as Christians to be the Body of Christ. Called to encourage one another. Called to keep singing even when life doesn't exactly make sense. 'Cause sometimes life's got glitter sprinkled on top, and sometimes not. But either. Way. We. Sing.
Cause either way, there's always something to sing about: He's on the throne.
And, you know, I think I like that kind of approach to writing a lot better.